*teaching notes.

you know, on most days teaching, i feel like vanna white, showing the kids letters and hoping that they'll guess the right word. on the best days, they'll actually be able to read what i'm showing them. but usually they'll listen to music on their mobile phones (the curse of the technological era) or generally mess about.
as a result, i've turned into ben stein in ferris bueller's day off, going "this is ... anyone? ... anyone? ... a NOUN."

i've also now become a nutritional expert. in my 7th grade class we're doing a unit on health and nutrition, and i have become the authority on what is good and bad for you. and when the kids ask why biscuits are bad for you i just reply, "because they are. deal with it." it also reminded me of the fat fighters sketch in little britain where the group is being asked whether certain foods are high in fat or low in fat("dust. high in fat or low in fat? anybody? anybody? dust. anybody? anybody? dust."), because i asked my kids in that very unfortunately high-pitched voice, "are sweets good for you or bad for you? anybody? anybody? sweets. good or bad? anybody? anybody? sweets."
there's this line from the book the jane austen book club that goes, "chalkboards are for chumps." truer words were never spoken. i really wish i had eyes in the back of my head, that way i could have avoided getting hit in the head with flying projectiles like erasers.

and on a (literally) daily basis i get asked how to translate words like "motherfucker" and "shit" into russian. i usually tell the kids to look it up in their dictionaries, but they won't and instead persist in asking me. i simply tell them it's a bad word and they shouldn't say it, which of course just prompts them to say it more. there's no winning with these kids.

but in the end, even though on bad days (which, unfortunately, outnumber my good days) when i want to quit, i remind myself that quitting is a luxury for me. my colleagues can't just quit and go home. this is their life, and now it's mine too.